2005

As I was driving home from class tonight I was having flashbacks to 7 years ago.  I had the sunroof open, I was driving the same highway home I did from classes back then, the smell of a bonfire from somewhere and I was reminiscing about those days. Here is what I remember most vividly:

Living in an awful apartment in a not so safe neighborhood with my cat, but it was my apartment,
The husband and I hadn't really been dating that long,
Still reeling from the shock that my dad had only been deceased a few months,
Having a job I absolutely loved and still miss,
I really love my school and the people I met through my program,
Traveling as a solo person to see friends all over,
Amazing fun times at my moms lakehouse,
I loved, no LOVED my 2004 Isuzu Rodeo..I still miss that piece of junk,
I had no idea where life was taking me.

I am not saying any of it was better than life now, just very different.  Life now - was 2 screaming 2 year olds for 6 hours yesterday and I am so happy to have my monkey and dino, trying to find time to write research papers, and finally cleaning out the old house as we close and it is no longer ours as of next Friday.
Sometimes all it takes is that smell and you are in a different time and a different place in your life for just a few moments.  I enjoyed it.  Now back to my current reality.  Who knows what will be a flashback 7 years from now.

Two years old

Wow. How has two years gone by already? I really can't believe we have two-two year olds!
Where has the time gone?

Sara
You are still a little monkey.  If it is unreasonable to climb it you will do it.
You are still a pound light than your brother to this day
You love to play dress up and tea party everyday
You are very good with spacial items and love to build everything with your hands
You don't like strangers and need to know that if we leave Danyal is there for  you
You love clothes! You look in your closet and say "Pretty"
You cannot go to sleep without kitty or blankie
 I am pretty sure you will have blankie at your graduation
You love dinosaurs and everything Sesame Street
I think you are part fish. I can never get you out of the water

Danyal
You are still my little Dino's
You love to sing, all the time!
Anything that makes music you need to be around
You love your piano
You could read books all day and will sit and read for an hour easily
Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin or Christmas always makes your day
You finally sleep through the night most of the time!
You love everyone and will say hi to strangers
You love to sing the Alphabet and up to 12 in French
You always have to be first when talking
You always need an Elmo to go to sleep and your Dinosaur blanket

You are two amazing kids and we know it! Everyone who meets you guys is easily won over you are such great kids.  You have your tantrum moments but for the most part, you are each others best friends. We wouldn't change a minute of having you guys around.

A well hydrated Elmo

May the odds be ever in your favor

I might have a problem. I just saw the Hunger Games for the 4 1/2 times..yes 1/2. I am aware that I have very little spare time but really I used it wisely.

The day the hunger games came out my mom and I already had tickets.  We found an earlier showing (we just couldn't wait!) and when it finished we went to the theatre next door (we purchased these tickets the day before) and watched the last half, AGAIN!  To top it off I then went back that afternoon and saw it  with my babysitter/friend.

The following week I went to go see it with my husband and finally I saw it yesterday.  I don't know what it is but I feel it was a great adaption from the book.  Also, the acting was better than the Harry Potters.  I will say this. Twilight has never been my thing. I have never read the books, but I have seen the movies.

Now for Divergent to become a movie! Can you tell I studied adolescent literature in college?

 I think the funniest thing is at bedtime Danyal requests songs.  Usually it is " You are my sunshine".  When mommy is around he requests the Hunger Games Lullaby and specifically this version. I love the woman who sings this one much better than the Sting version.  Danyal also likes The Hanging Tree by the same singer.  He actually sings both songs.  How does your heart not melt when your song looks up at you and says "Deep in meadow, soft green pillow". Yup, he is so my kid.

Picture Day and June running Stats

I have to say picture day is always stressful for  and with the kids.  Sara is becoming known as the "Ice Queen".  She has a lot of stranger danger and does not warm up to people fast, especially if daddy is around. Then she clings to daddy like the little monkey she is.

That being said we have used the same photographer since the kids were 6 months old Pixel Dust has so much talent and is just amazing with kids! I mean the women taught me how to get my kids to sit up when they wouldn't do it on their own (at 6 months).  This is what happens when your photographer is an ER nurse.

So as usual Sara was not having any of the pictures and Danyal, well he has enough of an outgoing personality for 3 kids.  Our photographer decided to let Sara push the buttons on her camera (she is brave even I won't let Sara touch my camera!) and viola! Instant happy Sara!  After that we managed what I am sure will be great shots and Sara had smiles.

What you have to understand is we have done pictures where Sara literally cried for all but one minute and somehow Amber always gets pictures! This is awesome as their 3 month pictures were with another place and they were awful! I learned my lesson. When you find someone good stick with them!

I was just looking at my June running summary and it wasn't great, but I was new to running.
Total Miles - 38
Total running - 7 1/2 hours
Total running sessions - 11

July is already way ahead of this. So it appears I am making some progress. I can't wait to see my end of the month Stats and I am still debating entering a Quarter marathon for this Saturday.  I am unsure as I have class that morning so I may just go for the 5K so I don't burn out.

It was a good race with some hurdles

Last night was my first chipped race ever.  The Torchlight 5K in downtown Minneapolis.  The problem  is that it was packed! There was a twins game, the race, and a parade.  This made for having to arrive very early and just hang around.

To top it off it is a nighttime race.  I have figured out how to run for the morning races so far and it is much easier than nighttime races.  I couldn't figure out my food and water for the day and I think I was a bit dehydrated during the run.

I usually have a really rough start about the first mile and a half but last night was a new torture for the first half mile.  I am not sure why but my calves both cramped up on me.  I pushed through it and manage to work it out and finish with a decent time (32:24) and I was really happy with my splits (10:28 pace).  There has been a lot going on lately and the stress of about ten other things didn't help with the run.  What did help was that I had created a playlist just for this run so that I would know when I hit 32 minutes.

It is kind of sobering to see the results and realize you finished 2,645 out of 4,530 people.  My time overall was about 30 seconds more than the Color Run but I blame this on the calf cramps and it being a night race.

I did have a slight epiphany this morning about running/racing and why I like it so much now. Before I was always workings so I felt really accomplished most days.  These days I don't have that. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and I cherish THEIR accomplishments.  But I need something of my own to strive for.  This is where racing comes in.  I feel like I am breaking barriers I never knew about for myself. I never would have considered running before in my life and now I am constantly challenging myself.  Each time I see my times go down I get that feeling of accomplishment and how to improve for next time. I do know I need to work on hills and sprints.

Here is to finding my next race.

I think I have lost my mind

I decided very last minute to sign up and run another 5K, this Wednesday night! Normally, ok no big deal.  We are in the high 90's all week. Wow, this might be tough. In addition, the husband is working an over night shift and my babysitter has to leave by 9.  Yup, I will run like the wind (back to the car).

I have the running bug so bad, but I do off set it with my weight training days and still give myself two days off a week.  Knowing all of this I am struggling. I really want to be a part of the Medtronic race, but I think it might have to be a 5K.  I am signed up for a 10K and 10 miler in September but the thought of racing those already scares me.  I know I can do the 10K but being in the throng of people I always tend to move a little faster, and fatigue a little faster.

Any suggestions? Just do the 10K and be proud of myself or stick with the safe bet of the 5K? The weather is also so unpredictable! It has been freezing some years and a heat wave other years.

This is going to be short

I should be sleeping I have a race in the morning. However, I just finished signing all the documents for the sale of our old house. I love that house it is where I brought my babies home, helped my mom through cancer, went through 3 foot surgeries, and it was a good place.

Now to make sure the inspection goes well and that the next people have as much love for the house as I do.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will mention today's toenail incident. Ick!

That 10K thing is happening

I managed to get out for a run around the lakes this morning and ended up doing more than a 10K. Oops! I did about 7 miles outside and now I get what Crazy Running Girl has told me.  Treadmill running has become mundane and boring and outside running is so much better.

I will say it was a tough run! I have figured out that the first mile to mile and a half is where I struggle and after that I am in my stride and can just keep going.  The problem today was my feet felt like lead. Once again I had a poor night of sleep and woke up in the hallway.  I was having a bad dream about Sara again and I was running to help her when I woke up.  I have no idea why it is always her but I could make some guesses. She was our smaller of the two twins with reflux, a helmet, and she stopped breathing on us a few times.  In the hallway I realized I was going to her bedroom and that in my dream  she was upstairs so I knew it was a bad dream.  This has got to stop!

I had an appointment on the other side of town yesterday and decided to call the best friend and we did a birthday lunch.  The sushi was no Wakame but I haven't had sushi in ages.  Actually, the last time I had sushi was with Crazy Running Girl. The BFF and I talked about all the normal fun stuff and as I left I had a thought and had to laugh.  You know when you meet people in college you never know who  you will stay in touch with.  Well I figured the BFF and I would go to our graves with a wheelbarrow of secrets.   As we have know each other now 16 years we might be getting closer to a semi.  I had to laugh.  16 years and a lot of laughter, tears, and support.  As for support I hope she knows if she gets the Steele Fitness Challenge I will do whatever I can to help her (Win). I know she is a competitive person but I just want her to be around forever for the kids and I. Danyal would be lost without his other mother.

As for upcoming fun, class all day this Saturday, and a team run with Crazy Running Girl on Sunday. The Color Run should be fun!

Now, I am off to write a research paper that is due Monday and has yet to be started.

My subconscious is at work

Our friends son dying has really kicked my mommy brain into motion.  I have always been a person who remembers their dreams, sleep walks, sleep talks, and if I have nightmares, unfortunately I vividly remember them. 

The recent events have really kicked my brain into working overtime at night to think about these things as a mom.  As a result my sleep has been awful to say the least.  I have been having nightmares that bad things have happened to people I love and I have been up more than a few times at night to check on the kids.  One night I found Sara with a pillow over her face.  When I tool it off she put it back on her head.  She is SO my daughter. 

On a better note all of the weird events have had me running more often and longer distances. I do my best brain organizing when I run.  Now if only I could write my paper in my head on my next run. I have a team race this Sunday with some old and new friends.  It should be a good time.  

Now off to try and do the dishes.  It appears the anti-napper is back.  We are on an hour and Danyal is still talking. This seems to be happening more often. I guess my sanity breaks are nearing the end.  Sara on the other hand (the previous anti-napper) is now napping for an hour and a half.  I guess you can't win them all. 

Early birthday fun

What happens when there are five birthdays in July? You pick a day,celebrate, and have cake overload!

It's hard to believe my babies are almost two and that my goddaughter (Sara's godmother) turned sweet sixteen! When my cousin was born I was heading off to college. I have to say she has turned out to be a pretty great kid. Though it does make me feel old now.

It's hot in here!

I need to run outside. The problem is with a heat index of 105-110 for the last week you cannot pay me to run outside! I cannot wait for the cool down next week.

Today will be fun. I am going to try and make the kids an Elmo cake. There are 5 birthdays in the month of July so we celebrate them all at once. The husband, me, my goddaughter turns 16, and the kids. It should be a day of sun, fun, and cake overload tomorrow.

Danyal informed me that they were "leaving the room". This is how I found his blueberries. :)

Saving the best for last

Why is it one can go through an entire Master's program an then at the end they add a new course and it's amazing?! Really the best class of the whole program started last night. This is so frustrating to me as it has such great real world implications.

On another note I have a class finishing next week. I might be working ahead a bit. I wrote all the papers for that class yesterday. Most aren't due until mid July. I just didn't want all I the papers hanging over my head. Where was this motivation in my undergrad program? As Sara's godfather put it, it probably had something to do with living my life and not finding sanity time alone.

Sadly, yes, I really do love writing papers and will miss this portion when I graduate.

A mixed day

Today has been more like the good, the bad and the not so pretty of all days.

The good - I had a great run. We are talking about 7.1 miles in 77 minutes! A year ago a quarter of a mile would have made me collapse.  I have never run farther than about 5.5 miles. I guess I might actually hit my goal of a half marathon!

The bad - Our friends son was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was a great kid and knew what he wanted. To top it off I owe a lot to his parents whom are our friends. They helped us out a ton when I was in the hospital on bed rest jut in case I went into labor.  They are also the nicest people you could ever find. Why do the awful things in life happen to the nicest people?

I also had my first job interview on Thursday in 4 years. I am not sure where this is  going to go. The other problem is daycares in our area have no openings. So I feel torn as I love being home with the kids, but I miss adult things too.

The not so pretty - My poor grandpa has 27 stitches from the top of his lip.  He has had melanoma a few times.  Once again cancer rears it ugly head. I love my grandparents. They are amazing people and I don't know what to do when they aren't around. I love their stories and just hanging out with them. I know they aren't young anymore (86 and 84) but selfish me wants them around forever.

My back yard also makes this list! It is like a jungle out there! My mom hung around to try and help me dig up some of it but in 90 degree weather we only lasted 2 hours.  I am hoping to get more done each morning this week.

Here is to hoping for a better day. Everyone go hugs your kids and those you love.